Am I in the minority because I am a woman who wants to stay at home instead of entering the workforce? I suppose it depends on who you ask. In my circle of church and home-school families I’m not; but in the community and even my extended family I am. It seems as though there is a tug-of-war for the hearts of women. I believe a lot of the struggle today can be contributed to the “Women’s Liberation” movement that began roughly in the 50’s through the 80’s.
I am not well-researched in the specifics of the movement (names, dates, landmark events, etc.) but I am well aware of the impact it has had on society at large. Years ago, women did not have the rights of man, but they did not have the responsibilities of them either. Women of yesteryear were not privileged to work at the same capacity as men, but they were also not obligated. Women, in general, were not treated like men.
I have heard it said before that the Feminist bunch is the most anti-feminine group out there and I think that’s the truth. I believe that women involved with the movement think they are benefiting the future of womanhood, but I also believe they are deceived. In the past, they thought they were opening doors of opportunity for their daughters but I don’t think they realized that precious ones would then be shut behind them.
It used to be that a woman could stay at home to raise her children, keep her home, and care for her husband and that that was the norm. Most women today have to sacrifice and fight in order to stay home. It used to be that a family could have a middle-class lifestyle with one average-sized home, one vehicle, and dad’s one income. Sure, there weren’t cell phones for the whole family, cable and video games, eating out all week, child care expenses, etc. Those things weren’t necessary because mom was home to cook, occupy the kids, and keep tabs on everyone. It is now expected for a woman to earn her “share” of the monetary income. What happens to her “share” of the household duties then? Most of the time, the mom still has to do them only now the chores and meals and things get hastily crammed into her schedule. Dads and older children also get a larger load (in some cases) and can get resentful. The health of the working woman and her family suffers as a result of all the stress, sleeplessness, and short-cuts. I don’t feel this is God’s way.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5 KJV*
At one time, it was customary for men to hold doors open for women, pull out chairs, the whole bit. It was called courtesy, respect, admiration. Liberal women have seen to it to squash those courtesies by calling them degrading. It is emasculating to a man to have a woman curtailing his attempts at protection and provision. I can’t begin to tell you how many men and boys have let doors swing shut on me in public. No chivalry. Oh, I’m sure some decent men out there still hold open doors and such but it sure isn’t as common as it once was. Partly due to liberal women protesting and partly because mamas and daddies are too busy working to instill these things in their children. I wonder what else mamas and daddies are too busy to do with their kids?
I was talking with my grandmother recently and she was sadly telling me about her neighborhood. She said all the ladies used to know each other. They would walk together around the cul-de-sac every evening for exercise and chat. They could drop in on each other for tea or coffee and sit in each other’s yards and watch their children play together. They would also get together every so often in the evenings with the husbands and play games or just socialize. I marveled at her stories because I had not known that sense of community when I was young and things have since gotten worse. She continued in telling me that many of the old neighborhood residents have since passed away or moved. She said she no longer knew her neighbors personally. Some she didn’t even recognize by face because she almost never saw them outdoors. The homes stand empty during the day and the folks inside are so busy in the evenings that they hardly ever come out. She even had doors shut on her when she attempted to meet some of them! How sad!My mother used to tell me stories of her neighborhood growing up. She said the moms were almost all home during the day. The kids could all play in the yards because someone’s mom was always keeping an eye out. The ladies would all congregate for canning or knitting or some such activity. They even held block parties and cooked out together and such. These things are few and far between now. When moms are all at work, kids can’t play outside safely with freedom. There isn’t time for get-togethers with neighbors and block parties. And you don’t know your neighbors enough to trust your kids there. Besides, no one is home to watch them anyway.
Another area that suffers greatly is child training. If kids are bussed around to schools and sitters and activities the majority of the time because moms are working, no one is there to “train them up in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6). I know children so unruly that their own parents don’t want to be around them. When discussing our decision to home-school our kids with working moms I very often hear comments like, “I have really considered that but I just don’t think I could handle being with my child that much.” Isn’t that horrifying? If the hearts of the mothers aren’t even toward their children, how can we expect anyone else’s to be? And what kind of parents and adults will those children grow up to become? It is a fearful thing.
I know there is a new movement of sorts. Many women have decided to take the leap of faith and return home. They’ve abandoned the façade of the “have-it-all” smokescreen and taken back their families. I applaud these women! It requires sacrifices almost across the board, but I tell you what; I’d rather sacrifice fancy clothes, new cars, and eating out than my family and my kids!
Some would argue that women did not have rights before the Women’s Liberation movement and that many were battered and abused. Frankly put, the same kinds of men who were women beaters before are the same kind of men that do it today. When women usurp authority and try to act like men, they lose the feminine qualities that God intended to provoke men to protect us and cherish us. Men feel contention and either seek to conquer a bawdy woman or take a broken back-seat to avoid conflict.
Just look at how women and wives are portrayed by the media. Women dress more and more scantily in order to be attractive. Do not kid yourselves, ladies, no one sees your intellect or “power” when you’re packaged cheaply (read Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry by Lisa Bevere for more on this). Wives are typically shown to be nagging, unhappy, leeches that men just put up with. How ashamed I would be if my husband ever thought that way of me!
Those who have an ear to hear, listen! God intended for woman’s head to be the man. It won’t work together for His glory any other way. That’s not to say that a woman won’t be good at leading, or making decisions, or even fighting; but that isn’t the point. We must walk according to God’s plan in subjection to our own husbands and be keepers of our own homes, and train up our children. This is God’s ordination for us; what we were created for. It makes for a happy marriage, a happy home, and a happy heart. Be blessed and encouraged in the Lord!
(For further study read Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl and Fight Like a Girl by Lisa Bevere.)
~ Amanda Paul
February 11, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Friday, February 9, 2007
Honor God From Where You Are
At times in our Christian walks we find ourselves in circumstances that seem unfavorable. We are promised in Scripture that we will face adversity.
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 KJV
Some of the problems we face are from the enemy to veer us off course and sometimes we have troubles because we have gotten off course already. Many times it is difficult to determine which it is that has brought you into a state of turmoil. Job is one example of a God-fearing man who dealt with trouble and there was dispute among the people involved as to what the reasons were (see the book of Job).
I am convinced that when these times come, it is not nearly as important how you got into your situation as it is what you’re going to do in it and through it. I’m not saying that a believer can’t know why circumstances have befallen him. I’m not even saying that it isn’t beneficial to know what took place to bring you into a troublesome time. Only, that when it is unclear why you are enduring something, it is more important what you choose to do in the midst of it.
For example, a few years ago my husband and I bought a new house. We were not really looking to move at the time. One day we happened upon a property that seemed saved just for us. It included every feature that we wanted in a home to raise our family in. It was more highly priced than we would have liked so just for “kicks”, we put in a lowball offer. It was accepted! Feeling blessed by God, we moved in and rejoiced. Not too long after, however, a few things started to break and cost money in repair. Also, the large yard became overwhelming to care for and pressure to adapt to a more rural lifestyle intimidated us. We began to question whether this new home was, in actuality, a gift from God or perhaps a scheme of the enemy to get us consumed with “the cares of this world” (see Mark 4:19). One day, in discussing the matter with my husband I said. “What difference does it make?” My husband was a little caught off guard so I continued, “Well, what difference does it make what brought us here? We’re here now. Let’s honor God from where we are. Let’s be good stewards and be faithful with what we have: grateful, and giving. If we honor God from where we are He will bring us to where He wants us.” That is what we decided to do (and are still doing).
You see, it isn’t always clear (especially in the midst of trouble) why things happen to us and around us. The most important thing is to honor God from where we are. Job got to the point of cursing the date of his birth but he never denied His God! (Job 3) Seek His will and His Word and allow Him to light your path. It’s a step by step process. Job refused to curse God. He may not have understood why trouble had befallen him (and what great trouble!), but he chose to honor the Lord in the midst of it. Then just look at all the blessings Job encountered after his time of testing was finished!
The Word says that we can be persecuted for our faith (although what many American believers call persecution can be embarrassing compared to what many others endure elsewhere). It also says that we can allow things into our life through disobedience and unbelief. If you know why something has happened or is happening to you or your family, Praise God! You’re ahead of the game. If you don’t know why don’t get stuck on it and spend your time frustratingly trying to figure it out. Honor God from where you are and allow Him to guide you from there. If, like Job, you were persecuted for righteousness sake then, God be praised, you will be recompensed and bring God glory. If you allowed bad things into your life through disobedience to God, you have the opportunity to let God lead you out and He still gets the glory. That’s the whole point of it. God alone is worthy to be praised!
My family has recently suffered a great loss. Our infant son died for no known reason during his birth. Some would say it was a test of our faith and my husband and I failed. Others would say that it was an attack of the enemy to attempt to stop us from serving God and disrupt our family. Still others would say that we were being punished for something we had done and we had allowed it. I know one thing for sure: I could spend my time trying to figure out which was the reason; or I could choose to love and honor God in the midst of it. I can trust Him to lead me from this point on. I can choose to not give the enemy any victory over my marriage or my other children. I can choose to continue on in my faith and service of our Lord and His church.
Please do not email me your opinion as to why things like this happen. That is not the intent of this article. It is merely to point out that we have choices in our circumstances. The best choice is always to honor God. Good times, bad times, guilty or innocent; it can not hurt to seek the Lord and bless His holy name. He is great and greatly to be praised (Ps. 96:4)!
I think of biblical accounts like Bathsheba and Joseph, Paul and Silas, and many, many others. Amidst unfavorable circumstances they chose to honor the Lord for what else better could they have done? I’m certain they, being human, would be tempted to question from whence came their trouble, but they all seemed to know the greater importance of whence cometh their help! (Ps. 121:1)
I thank the Lord for his provision and his mercy and his grace and his Church. He alone is Our Rock and our Defense. He promises to light our paths with His Word if we will only seek Him first and acknowledge Him in all our ways so He can direct our paths. (Matt. 6:33; Pro. 3:6). He is so good even when things seem so bad. I hope you all can be encouraged by this in your time of need.
~Amanda Paul
February 9, 2007
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 KJV
Some of the problems we face are from the enemy to veer us off course and sometimes we have troubles because we have gotten off course already. Many times it is difficult to determine which it is that has brought you into a state of turmoil. Job is one example of a God-fearing man who dealt with trouble and there was dispute among the people involved as to what the reasons were (see the book of Job).
I am convinced that when these times come, it is not nearly as important how you got into your situation as it is what you’re going to do in it and through it. I’m not saying that a believer can’t know why circumstances have befallen him. I’m not even saying that it isn’t beneficial to know what took place to bring you into a troublesome time. Only, that when it is unclear why you are enduring something, it is more important what you choose to do in the midst of it.
For example, a few years ago my husband and I bought a new house. We were not really looking to move at the time. One day we happened upon a property that seemed saved just for us. It included every feature that we wanted in a home to raise our family in. It was more highly priced than we would have liked so just for “kicks”, we put in a lowball offer. It was accepted! Feeling blessed by God, we moved in and rejoiced. Not too long after, however, a few things started to break and cost money in repair. Also, the large yard became overwhelming to care for and pressure to adapt to a more rural lifestyle intimidated us. We began to question whether this new home was, in actuality, a gift from God or perhaps a scheme of the enemy to get us consumed with “the cares of this world” (see Mark 4:19). One day, in discussing the matter with my husband I said. “What difference does it make?” My husband was a little caught off guard so I continued, “Well, what difference does it make what brought us here? We’re here now. Let’s honor God from where we are. Let’s be good stewards and be faithful with what we have: grateful, and giving. If we honor God from where we are He will bring us to where He wants us.” That is what we decided to do (and are still doing).
You see, it isn’t always clear (especially in the midst of trouble) why things happen to us and around us. The most important thing is to honor God from where we are. Job got to the point of cursing the date of his birth but he never denied His God! (Job 3) Seek His will and His Word and allow Him to light your path. It’s a step by step process. Job refused to curse God. He may not have understood why trouble had befallen him (and what great trouble!), but he chose to honor the Lord in the midst of it. Then just look at all the blessings Job encountered after his time of testing was finished!
The Word says that we can be persecuted for our faith (although what many American believers call persecution can be embarrassing compared to what many others endure elsewhere). It also says that we can allow things into our life through disobedience and unbelief. If you know why something has happened or is happening to you or your family, Praise God! You’re ahead of the game. If you don’t know why don’t get stuck on it and spend your time frustratingly trying to figure it out. Honor God from where you are and allow Him to guide you from there. If, like Job, you were persecuted for righteousness sake then, God be praised, you will be recompensed and bring God glory. If you allowed bad things into your life through disobedience to God, you have the opportunity to let God lead you out and He still gets the glory. That’s the whole point of it. God alone is worthy to be praised!
My family has recently suffered a great loss. Our infant son died for no known reason during his birth. Some would say it was a test of our faith and my husband and I failed. Others would say that it was an attack of the enemy to attempt to stop us from serving God and disrupt our family. Still others would say that we were being punished for something we had done and we had allowed it. I know one thing for sure: I could spend my time trying to figure out which was the reason; or I could choose to love and honor God in the midst of it. I can trust Him to lead me from this point on. I can choose to not give the enemy any victory over my marriage or my other children. I can choose to continue on in my faith and service of our Lord and His church.
Please do not email me your opinion as to why things like this happen. That is not the intent of this article. It is merely to point out that we have choices in our circumstances. The best choice is always to honor God. Good times, bad times, guilty or innocent; it can not hurt to seek the Lord and bless His holy name. He is great and greatly to be praised (Ps. 96:4)!
I think of biblical accounts like Bathsheba and Joseph, Paul and Silas, and many, many others. Amidst unfavorable circumstances they chose to honor the Lord for what else better could they have done? I’m certain they, being human, would be tempted to question from whence came their trouble, but they all seemed to know the greater importance of whence cometh their help! (Ps. 121:1)
I thank the Lord for his provision and his mercy and his grace and his Church. He alone is Our Rock and our Defense. He promises to light our paths with His Word if we will only seek Him first and acknowledge Him in all our ways so He can direct our paths. (Matt. 6:33; Pro. 3:6). He is so good even when things seem so bad. I hope you all can be encouraged by this in your time of need.
~Amanda Paul
February 9, 2007
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