Just a little word of encouragement: Many of us moms feel overwhelmed when faced with spiritual matters. Personally, when my pastor talks about the importance of daily fellowship with God and the need for prayer I get a sinking feeling, at first, in my stomach. I immediately think, How am I supposed to do that when I have these kids to take care of? Sure, a pastor can go into his “prayer closet” for hours undisturbed, but a mama; that’s something different.
You see, I have three boys under age 5 and a busy husband. I don’t get personal time. I don’t even go potty alone (I know others of you understand this). It’s not that my kids are undisciplined or that my life is completely out of control. It’s just that with all we have to do and all the questions there are to answer in a day of little boy exploring, my private and/or quiet time just faded away. Besides, to be honest, if I did have even a half-hour to myself I know I’d just take a nap. A nap? What is that? Hmmm, it’s been so long…
Anyway :-), my point is that I have since discovered a beautiful truth that brings freedom to the mama in need of fellowship with her Lord. Our Most Holy God has given us our position. Of course he’s going to equip us and of course he isn’t going to expect more out of us than we can offer. In telling us how to teach our children he said:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.” (Deuteronomy 6:5-8 NKJV)
If we are supposed to teach our children all day, everyday in all that we do and in all points of real life, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that this would be the way God would teach us? Of course, we still need to pray and seek His will. I do not intend to detract from that. It’s just that we won’t achieve some spiritual pinnacle if we can shut ourselves out from the world and get in 4-5 hours of meditation daily. Not for what we have been called; it just isn’t realistic for a mama to do that. We just need to remember that He is not a God who seeks empty actions. Frustratingly browsing through your Bible scanning verses so that you can say you had devotions that day will not do you any good and it won’t be doing God any favor. He doesn’t want you to read His word for His benefit anyway. He already knows what it says.
Instead, try this. In the morning, maybe at breakfast, sit with your kids and open up to a portion of scripture, maybe even just one verse. Read it like it is written. Then prayerfully “interpret” it for your child(ren). I used to do this when coming up with “sermons” for my Sunday school class and it was my time of greatest revelation of the Word. When you can effectively explain what the Bible is saying to a three or four year old, you all will have gleaned wisdom and will be able to remember what you’ve learned. It will help you to simplify your understanding of God’s Word and help you to live in childlike faith as we were commanded. Besides that, you and your child will be creating memories they will cherish forever.
By the way, this will only be effective if your time is pretty well organized. If you have large gaps in your day that you fill with watching TV or chatting on the phone or complaining about how bored you are, then you already know how to find more time to spend with the Lord. You just need the gumption to get on your knees or pick up your Bible and feed your Spirit. Get up, get motivated, and be blessed!
I also suggest praying in the shower, in vehicles, and while vacuuming; all very opportunistic times when distractions are at a minimum. Give it a shot. What have you got to lose except your excuses! God Bless.
~ Amanda M. Paul
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Occupation: Homemaker
Many SAHM (stay-at-home-moms) fall into a rut and feel bored, lonely, and/or insignificant. Sometimes the fear of these things even keeps women from staying at home in the first place. Often, the secular world paints a picture of a mom at home as very quaint; not glamorous like a city job, or rewarding like a passionate career, or entertaining like a hustle-bustle working lifestyle; only simplistic and cute. It doesn’t usually sound very attractive to young women. If it isn’t these things that deter a family from having mom at home then it’s the lie that they can’t afford life on one income alone.
I personally experienced some confusion when I first got married and began my life at home. I had the house organized and just as clean as any other house and yet I still felt bored a lot of the time and was somewhat discontented. It didn’t make sense to me. I had been an excellent student and an exemplary worker, yet here at home I was continuously bored which led to feeling lonely. I kept wondering why I felt that way.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have enough to do. I had two children with one on the way, I was beginning to teach my 4 year old, I helped my husband run his carpentry business from home, I sang on the worship team, taught Children’s church, cooked and cleaned, etc. So I had plenty to do.
It also wasn’t that I was just unhappy at home, because I wasn’t. I was thrilled to be able to be at home with my kids when so many others I knew felt that they had to work to support their families. I was grateful for the time and opportunity to homeschool my kids and really be a helper to my husband. One day, my mother finally pointed out to me that when I had been in school I was very regimented with my time. I kept an organized calendar/journal in which I planned and pre-planned the timing of assignments and events and all they entailed. Then, each day I would see what was in store and complete everything efficiently and often beforehand. When I worked, I had a clear and concise position and had the mind-set of being good at my job. I always completed tasks in a timely fashion and with a cheerful demeanor.
It was then that I realized that my attitude towards being at home wasn’t right. I was being too relaxed. I was treating my time at home everyday like I had previously done on the weekends when in school or at work. I decided to treat my life at home with the kids as my new career; with the kids as my subordinates and my husband as my boss.
I immediately got planning. I got out a new calendar/journal and allotted time for everything I sought to accomplish each day, week, month, etc. I scheduled everything: Housework, errands, cooking, schooling the children, special projects, paperwork, shopping.... I even put reminders to give the kids their baths and change the bed sheets and the fish’s water. I PLANNED EVERYTHING!
Now every morning I wake up with an agenda. I have the drive of being able to cross off the things on my list each day. That helps me conquer the feelings of unimportance because I can see on paper that I am getting so much done.
I don’t get terribly stringent on WHEN things get accomplished in the day. I know that life with small children doesn’t necessarily fit into strict time slots. And the purpose of the schedule was not to stress me out or rush us all day. It is a guideline to keep me on track.
I have discovered that I actually have a lot of time to do almost anything I want. Being at home with the kids is no longer the reason I can’t do the things I desire to do, (read my Bible, pray, exercise, write, etc.) rather, it’s what enables me to do them. I had completely eliminated the dull gaps in my day where I would just sit and think about how I had “nothing to do”.
This was such a refreshing change that I decided to carry the concept over to other areas of my life. For example: I have a calendar on the wall on which I write out all the suppers that I’m going to fix. I spend one afternoon going through my recipe books and cook books and I plan all the suppers out ahead of time. This way I know in advance that on the nights we go to church we’ll have something quick and easy to fix, and on the nights we have company we’ll have a larger meal, and on Sundays we’ll have a meal in the crock pot so it’s ready when we get home, etc. As I write out the meals I also begin to make my weekly grocery lists (while I have the recipes handy). That way I’m sure to have all the ingredients handy for each meal. Then, before I go shopping, all I have to do is add the items I need for breakfast and lunch throughout the week and whatever baking necessities I’ve run out of. I even coordinate them with my grocer’s weekly flyers so that I can save us the most money.
Doing it this way may sound like an awful lot of work but it actually saves a lot of time and frustration. I never have to fret over what to fix for supper and I know we’re eating healthy and cost-effectively. Besides, I really enjoy the planning part. I like to go through my cookbooks and try new things.
I have found that having this well-organized approach to things helps me do my job with ease and efficiency making it easier to be content and cheerful. It also helps me get the kids involved. They work with me each day. In the morning, when they ask what we’re going to do that day all I have to do is check the book and say “Well, it’s dusting day and then we’ll vacuum and clean the basement”, or something to that effect. We know what we need to do so we’re able to do it with gladness. And we always make sure to leave plenty of time for romping, reading, catching frogs, and feeding bugs to the chickens, etc (all things three small boys love to do).
So that’s my secret of being a SAHM. I take my “job” seriously. With all my time and effort I take care of my home. My “boss” (husband) knows that his best worker (me) is capable and motivated to do the best job each day. Now, when I fill out forms that ask for occupation I always smile as I proudly pen my title: Homemaker.
By: Amanda M. Paul
Matt. 25:21
21His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
Titus 2:1-5
1But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: 2that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; 3the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—4that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
I personally experienced some confusion when I first got married and began my life at home. I had the house organized and just as clean as any other house and yet I still felt bored a lot of the time and was somewhat discontented. It didn’t make sense to me. I had been an excellent student and an exemplary worker, yet here at home I was continuously bored which led to feeling lonely. I kept wondering why I felt that way.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have enough to do. I had two children with one on the way, I was beginning to teach my 4 year old, I helped my husband run his carpentry business from home, I sang on the worship team, taught Children’s church, cooked and cleaned, etc. So I had plenty to do.
It also wasn’t that I was just unhappy at home, because I wasn’t. I was thrilled to be able to be at home with my kids when so many others I knew felt that they had to work to support their families. I was grateful for the time and opportunity to homeschool my kids and really be a helper to my husband. One day, my mother finally pointed out to me that when I had been in school I was very regimented with my time. I kept an organized calendar/journal in which I planned and pre-planned the timing of assignments and events and all they entailed. Then, each day I would see what was in store and complete everything efficiently and often beforehand. When I worked, I had a clear and concise position and had the mind-set of being good at my job. I always completed tasks in a timely fashion and with a cheerful demeanor.
It was then that I realized that my attitude towards being at home wasn’t right. I was being too relaxed. I was treating my time at home everyday like I had previously done on the weekends when in school or at work. I decided to treat my life at home with the kids as my new career; with the kids as my subordinates and my husband as my boss.
I immediately got planning. I got out a new calendar/journal and allotted time for everything I sought to accomplish each day, week, month, etc. I scheduled everything: Housework, errands, cooking, schooling the children, special projects, paperwork, shopping.... I even put reminders to give the kids their baths and change the bed sheets and the fish’s water. I PLANNED EVERYTHING!
Now every morning I wake up with an agenda. I have the drive of being able to cross off the things on my list each day. That helps me conquer the feelings of unimportance because I can see on paper that I am getting so much done.
I don’t get terribly stringent on WHEN things get accomplished in the day. I know that life with small children doesn’t necessarily fit into strict time slots. And the purpose of the schedule was not to stress me out or rush us all day. It is a guideline to keep me on track.
I have discovered that I actually have a lot of time to do almost anything I want. Being at home with the kids is no longer the reason I can’t do the things I desire to do, (read my Bible, pray, exercise, write, etc.) rather, it’s what enables me to do them. I had completely eliminated the dull gaps in my day where I would just sit and think about how I had “nothing to do”.
This was such a refreshing change that I decided to carry the concept over to other areas of my life. For example: I have a calendar on the wall on which I write out all the suppers that I’m going to fix. I spend one afternoon going through my recipe books and cook books and I plan all the suppers out ahead of time. This way I know in advance that on the nights we go to church we’ll have something quick and easy to fix, and on the nights we have company we’ll have a larger meal, and on Sundays we’ll have a meal in the crock pot so it’s ready when we get home, etc. As I write out the meals I also begin to make my weekly grocery lists (while I have the recipes handy). That way I’m sure to have all the ingredients handy for each meal. Then, before I go shopping, all I have to do is add the items I need for breakfast and lunch throughout the week and whatever baking necessities I’ve run out of. I even coordinate them with my grocer’s weekly flyers so that I can save us the most money.
Doing it this way may sound like an awful lot of work but it actually saves a lot of time and frustration. I never have to fret over what to fix for supper and I know we’re eating healthy and cost-effectively. Besides, I really enjoy the planning part. I like to go through my cookbooks and try new things.
I have found that having this well-organized approach to things helps me do my job with ease and efficiency making it easier to be content and cheerful. It also helps me get the kids involved. They work with me each day. In the morning, when they ask what we’re going to do that day all I have to do is check the book and say “Well, it’s dusting day and then we’ll vacuum and clean the basement”, or something to that effect. We know what we need to do so we’re able to do it with gladness. And we always make sure to leave plenty of time for romping, reading, catching frogs, and feeding bugs to the chickens, etc (all things three small boys love to do).
So that’s my secret of being a SAHM. I take my “job” seriously. With all my time and effort I take care of my home. My “boss” (husband) knows that his best worker (me) is capable and motivated to do the best job each day. Now, when I fill out forms that ask for occupation I always smile as I proudly pen my title: Homemaker.
By: Amanda M. Paul
Matt. 25:21
21His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
Titus 2:1-5
1But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: 2that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; 3the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—4that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Bear the Burden
Are your kids a fountain of joy or a burden you bear daily? I assure you, your kids are not the "cross" the Bible tells you to pick up daily. (Neither is your husband) Furthermore, your being a wife and mother is not your "lot in life" but rather your high calling and fulfillment of your destined position. Can't you see that it's your way of thinking and viewing things that produces your grief and bitterness? When was the last time you actually renewed your mind with God's Holy Word? When was the last time you chose to sit and meditate on all the goodness that God has provided for you? Sure, some of you are saying, "But you don't know my husband or kids". That's true, but God does know them. He also knows that the problems you encounter in your relationships are from lack of obedience to His Word and His Will. In spite of it all, you can choose to start now and seek Him in your circumstances and He will guide you out. His Word will light your path step by step and His Spirit will lead you and guide you into all truth. Trust in Him. You say you are a Christian - that you believe in God; so live like you do. Let everything you do and say reflect that your life is in the hands of an ALMIGHTY and LOVING Father who really has GOOD PLANS for you. Read His Word. Please don't take for granted the freedoms that we have - to live in a place where we can worship God openly still and have these resources readily available to us. Make the most of everyday. SERVE your husband as unto the Lord. Not because he is a man that is so good that he deserves it, but because the Lord is to be feared and He commanded you to. Train your kids to obey you so that they will have an easier time than you do in obeying God. Train them now to be givers, and lovers, and cheerful, and grateful so that they won't have to wrangle their flesh as much as you have to wrangle yours. Don't expect more from them than you do of yourself. Teach them by example. Rebuke with love early so you won't risk harshly punishing later. Don't be overwhelmed by your position but rise to the calling. Don't think that you need 4 solid hours of prayer and devotional time alone everyday in order to be spiritual enough to live your life holy. Recognize that God called you holy already in Christ, then everyday renew your mind with the Word a little here and there (especially the parts on being a wife and mother) throughout the day and don't spoil it with secular magazines, T.V., videos , etc. Then cheerfully go about your day serving your family and taking care of things to the best of your ability. Be a good steward over your home, but don't idolize its cleanliness. Keep things in decent and good order, but don't stress about the things of life. Work with your children each day to take care of things, teach them and explore the world with them. Don't keep company with people who are grumblers, back-biters, or busybodies. Do your best to help lift them up, but then walk away and keep them in prayer. Do these things and more throughout your day with a cheerful attitude in all faith with a humble heart. The yoke of Christ truly is easy and light, even in the midst of trials and tribulations. If you feel heavy it's because you're listening to your flesh and/or the devil. Be blessed in mind and body and praise the Lord for He is good and He loves you.
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